I hate shopping. There are so many variables to consider, such as size, color, cost, and fashion. Sneakers are especially hard. It’s difficult to get a comfortable fit and shoe designs get more ridiculous every year to make them look different from the previous year. But after buying Soul Food takeout, I reluctantly stopped by a sporting goods store to shop for a new pair.

Having made my choice, the clerk retrieved one shoe with a big round security device attached. Not a box containing both shoes. Just one shoe. When I asked how to lace them up since the security device was bolted through one of the top holes, he only shrugged, saying it couldn’t be removed. I tied the lace around it. Fortunately the next one I requested didn’t have a big assed button stuck to it.

The line wasn’t very long, but they only had a single register open. One employee kept yelling “hurry up in there” at the changing room before stepping up to the second register and motioning me over. A father and son finally emerged from the dressing room. “You should make another dressing room” said the father. “You should go faster” replied the clerk while processing my order. They went back and forth this way 2 or 3 times until the customer said “and you should shut tha fuck up!” “What tha fuck did you say to me?” the cashier tactfully responded.

That was my cue to step away to a safe distance, leaving the shoes and the food on the counter. Right after they stormed each other, a big imposing security guard and several coworkers rushed forward to keep them apart. A woman behind me in the gathering crowd wisely cautioned “don’t loose your job over this.” The father and son were escorted out by security while my purchase was completed by the cashier who had thankfully regained his composure. I almost forgot my food when it was done. Right before leaving, one of the employees told the next person in the changing room to take as much time as they wanted.